August 7, 2011 - Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time
Reading 1 - 1 Kgs 19:9a, 11-13a
At the mountain of God, Horeb, Elijah came to a cave where he took shelter. Then the LORD said to him, “Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will be passing by.”
A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD—but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake—but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was fire—but the LORD was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound. When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave.
Responsorial Psalm - 85:9, 10, 11-12, 13-14
R. (8) Lord, let us see your kindness, and grant us your salvation.
I will hear what God proclaims; the LORD — for he proclaims peace.
Near indeed is his salvation to those who fear him, glory dwelling in our land.
R. Lord, let us see your kindness, and grant us your salvation.
Kindness and truth shall meet; justice and peace shall kiss.
Truth shall spring out of the earth, and justice shall look down from heaven.
R. Lord, let us see your kindness, and grant us your salvation.
The LORD himself will give his benefits; our land shall yield its increase.
Justice shall walk before him, and prepare the way of his steps.
R. Lord, let us see your kindness, and grant us your salvation.
Reading II - Rom 9:1-5
Brothers and sisters: I speak the truth in Christ, I do not lie; my conscience joins with the Holy Spirit in bearing me witness that I have great sorrow and constant anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my own people, my kindred according to the flesh. They are Israelites; theirs the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship, and the promises; theirs the patriarchs, and from them, according to the flesh, is the Christ, who is over all, God blessed forever. Amen.
Gospel - Mt 14:22-33
After he had fed the people, Jesus made the disciples get into a boat and precede him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. After doing so, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When it was evening he was there alone. Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore, was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it. During the fourth watch of the night, he came toward them walking on the sea.
When the disciples saw him walking on the sea they were terrified. “It is a ghost,” they said, and they cried out in fear. At once Jesus spoke to them, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.”
Peter said to him in reply, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught Peter, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” After they got into the boat, the wind died down. Those who were in the boat did him homage, saying, “Truly, you are the Son of God.”
Reflection
I just bought a new bike—my first road bike—as I’ve been going out for longer and longer rides and decided that it was time to invest in the proper equipment. My old bike, a sturdy hybrid that competently handles pavement without disintegrating over rougher terrain, has served me well, and in the two years I’ve been riding it, I’ve never had a problem with it.
Last week, I went to the Shore with my family, and I brought along the seasoned hybrid, for fear that something might happen to my shiny new roadster. Moreover, I was afraid I’d blow a tire on the new bike, and I hadn’t yet purchased spare tubes or a patch kit. So I stuck with the trusted, older ride. And naturally blew out my first tire ever on it. Not only that, the spare tube from a passing Samaritan cyclist popped as soon as it was inflated. Predictably, the tubes waited until my longest ride of the trip, and the blowout occurred when I was over ten miles away from the shore house. Ultimately, I ended up jogging back, dragging the bike alongside me.
God was in the blowout. I’m not saying God physically blew out my tire; some small chard of glass or piece of metal probably did that. But God was undoubtedly at work in the experience. Using the torn rubber tube to communicate with me. Allowing an objectively “evil” event to occur, i.e. blowing out a tire, to teach me some lesson, to form me in some way.
As soon as I got back to my parents’ house in Pennsylvania, I made a trip to the bike shop and bought spare tubes and a portable pump. I also made sure I bought a seat pack large enough to accommodate a cell phone should I really find myself in trouble. Truth be told, prior to the blowout, I wasn’t convinced I really needed all that. I’m accustomed to shopping for electronics, and I’m of the opinion that the $40 extended service warranty on a $100 camera is rarely a good value and that the innumerable accoutrements the sales clerk pushes upon purchase are usually unnecessary. Following my blown tire, however, I was thoroughly sold on the importance of buying the proper equipment for these longer rides. In fact, as I jogged home, bike in tow, I grinned and said out loud, “Message received, God.”
God was in the blown tire. Just as God was in the warmth of the sun and the cool breeze off the ocean later that day. God used the inner harmony I experienced from lying on the sand to remind me that we, humans—myself included—need breaks. And He used the blown tire to say a lot of things, not the least of which is that I’m not nearly so in control of life circumstances as I sometimes like to think! God speaks to us in the mundane, easy-to-overlook experiences of my everyday existence. But we an only hear if we know to listen.
I often hear people lament, “God doesn’t answer my prayers.” When asked for more detail, they usually reply that they have offered up some supplication or asked some question of God in prayer, but that they received no response. As though God were expected to write on their facebook wall or send them a text message with the answer. (“I got your note about passing the bar exam… I’m pretty busy this week; I’m going to have to get back to you. I’m tagging @Thomas More in this post in case he can be of any help in the meantime.”)
This is the point of the first reading. Ancient peoples almost universally associated God or gods with awe-some displays of cosmic force. Thunder. Lightning. Earthquakes. The Sun. And it’s obvious to see why—these were phenomena far beyond the force of human capabilities, so they must have some SUPER-human origin. Thus, when they experienced an eclipse or suffered through a drought, they assumed it must be g/God communicating with them. In fact, the Hebrew Scriptures are rife with examples of God doing just this—using natural (and supernatural) phenomena to indicate His pleasure or displeasure with a people.
When there were plagues or famines, it was understood that God was upset with them. That they had done something wrong to elicit His ire; or worse, that he had forsaken them altogether. When things were going well; when they achieved some great military victory, they attributed this to God’s favor. To his support of their cause. If they lost a battle, or if a river flooded, it was because God had abandoned them. If they conquered a new territory or brought in a record harvest, it was because God supported their undertaking.
But we do the same thing, many times. We find God in our personal (or communal) victories and bemoan His ostensible absence during our hardships. We celebrate God’s goodness when we pass an exam, and we curse Him when we fail. We thank God effusively when we land the job we wanted or the cancer screening comes back negative; but we openly question His providence when we find ourselves laid off or learn that the test results were not good. What Elijah understands, and what the first reading attempts to convey, is that God is in the whispers as well as the thunder. God communicates to us in ways we do not always expect or even understand. Certainly not in the ways WE would choose to communicate if WE were God. So often, we want God to reply to us in sentence form.
But more often than not, God’s preferred form of communication is non-verbal. Rather than reply to our question, “What am I supposed to do with my life?” with an e-mail indicating that we are supposed to be an elementary school teacher, God plants a joy in our heart when we undertake the activity of helping others learn. We feel an incredible sense of fulfillment the summer we work as a camp counselor, teaching kids about various types of leaves and animals; and conversely, we complain incessantly about the following year when we were stuck filing financial reports in our dad’s office.
The joy and fulfillment in our heart when we work with the kids; the compliments from the older counselors who see our natural rapport with the participants; the hugs from the campers at the end of the summer—all of these are God communicating with us. And so is the opposite experience—the loneliness and boredom of an office job. The indifference towards spreadsheets and the disdain for suit jackets.
God may occasionally employ the thunder and earthquake to get our attention, but the majority of His end of the conversation is in a decidedly less conspicuous form. God may use some major life event, e.g. a major illness, or losing a job, to remind us of, for instance, the value of human relationships, but on a more daily basis, that same message is broadcast in more subtle tones. For instance, the friend who can tell that our new boss is causing us greater anxiety at work and offers to come by with Chinese food and a DVD.
Many famous athletes, celebrities, and businessmen end up writing memoirs in which they detail some major adversity that helped teach them important life values. The football coach who has a health scare and realizes that no number of conference championships is worth a premature heart attack. The corporate marketing guru who loses her job and re-discovers the value of time spent with her children. But it is also highly probable that God had been “whispering” to these individuals all along. In the form of the joy the marketer felt when she saw her daughter’s first soccer goal, and conversely in the immense guilt she’d experienced when she couldn’t get out of work in time for the ballet recital.
The challenge, for us, is twofold: first, to be open and attentive to what God might be “whispering” to us already and every day in our life. And second, to discern what those whispers might mean. The first part takes attunement and openness. The second part requires immense patience, not rushing to judgment and deciding that we have divined all that God intended to “say” through a given experience, shutting the door on further interpretation.
Thus, we must be aware that the fact that we didn’t get into a single grad school when we applied means SOMETHING. God wishes to communicate SOMETHING to us. So we should be attentive to what that might be. But we must likewise be careful not to decide we are certain it is so straightforward as: God doesn’t want me to go to grad school. Perhaps. But perhaps God simply does not want you to go to any of THOSE particular 10 schools at THIS particular time in your life, preferring you instead to work for a year in the field, gaining some valuable experience before heading off to a program that is an even better fit.
God “whispers” to us in the beauty of a sunset over the ocean as well as the dreariness of a rainy afternoon in winter. God answers our prayers both in the winning of a research grant and in the losing of one. In the amazing friends we have, and in the a-holes we meet. The task for us is first to be attentive to the whispers, then to discern what they might mean.
Questions for Reflection
1) Do you ever feel as though God doesn’t answer your prayers? Do you ever struggle to see where God is at work in your life? What has been your experience?
2) If you do see God at work in your life, where do you encounter God? What are these experiences like? What led/leads you to believe it’s God?
3) Have you ever experienced some time in your life in which it felt as though God was absent or unresponsive? Do you still feel that way? How did it get resolved?
4) Are there any “whispers” from God you’re aware of right now (or thunderclaps?!) that you’re trying to comprehend? What sorts of resources do you use or people do you go to in order to try and make sense of these communications?
